I seem to have not one, not two but three people who now want to play match makers... I'm not sure to :) or to :(. I have a feeling the number's growing...
I suppose I don't mind them match making as much as I object to the people they match make me with. I reckon it's easier all around if they ask what I'm looking for. Then have a go at the game.
I've had some weird people come knocking at my door.
One was a person on a very short visit here; all of 2 weeks. Not only was he job hunting, but it seems, bride hunting At what point do I find out he's interested? A day before he's due to leave the country. Which meant additional pressure... meet him before he leaves so you can decide. He really needs to know now.
Um.. hello! It doesn't quiet work that way. I'm supposed to be choosing a spouse not shopping for potatoes. I can't decide in one meeting that yes, he's the one! These things take time.
Apparently not.. it's just me being difficult...
There's other stuff that's important to me. I seem to meet people who don't share my beliefs. Nice as they may be, we appear poles apart.
I seem to have met a whole lot of Misters...
Mr. Irreligious-don’t know what Islam-is-and-don’t-care-either...
Mr. I’m-threatened-by-your-feminist-educated-views…
Mr. Bow-to-my-superior-views-cause-I’m-a-man…
Mr. I-can’t-support-you-and-our-kids-you-need-to-work…
Mr. I’m-so-shy-I’m-blushing-far-more-than-you-possibly-can…
A whole lot of other misters too…
Which brings me to the question...
How does one know who the right person is?
It’s said marriages are made in heaven but celebrated on earth. Why then do our future spouse(s) not carry an ID?
Shame there's no *drum roll* and in walks… Mr. Right. You see him and the orchestra start playing your song. Better still, he has a sign around his neck saying he belongs to you. It would be so much easier to be sure.
All that happens is that you have the one, two, three or four meetings. Meetings arranged in a controlled environment. Meetings where you learn very little but what the person chooses to reveal. Meetings where everyone seem to be on their best behaviour…
Then you're asked to decide. To make only the biggest decision of your whole life...
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Mr. Right obviously doesn't exist :( And if he does, how lucky you must be if you actually end up with him! I don't think I want to get married unless I can find the type of person I am looking for. Someone who shares my mentality about Islam, my interests, goals in life, etc. Otherwise, what is the point of marriage. Simply to make babies? *dry* Sure, it would be nice to have company and whatnot. But I don't want to settle for someone I won't be happy with *cry* I don't know anymore!!!
I agree with you...
However, unfortunately, the older you get, the more pressure.
Right now for instance, I said no, bu all it does is make me look 'choosey' or difficult.
But really marriage is more then about leaving home, starting a new life and having kids. It's choosing the right person for yourself, a person based on criteria important to yourself (freindship, etc).
*grr* how does one tell in a few meetings?
Sometimes initiating an interesting topic makes it comprehensible as to what are the views of the other person and gives a glimpse of their personality..
I feel its necessary to understand what the other person is expecting from marriage and also let them know where you stand..
The few meetings should not be wasted on idle talks about weather, movies, and hobbies but should be constructively used..
Though we all say that looks don’t matter; I feel to some extent they do and they might not rank top of your checklist but play their part in the final selection..
So how would you use your time constructively?
What questions would you ask?
Personally, I normally try to strike up a conversation by inquiring about them and see if they are responsive.. I would normally initiate with education, what they have done and what they are doing now and what they intend to do in the near future so on and so forth.. move on from there.. I would hope that they are equally inquisitive..
Shy Types are difficult.. so are the "Jeeee" Types...
Having a conversation is better.. the other person feels relaxed.. Its far better than a Q&A session with all the usual boring questions..
Setting?
Girl's house? Coffee shop? At a restaurant over a meal?
Both of you are going through the whole marriage process. As I said, my parents are unlike most desis. They are not even thinking about marriage yet. *sigh* So I'll let you know in 2 years what I think... By then both of you will be married and have kids probably lol
coffeeshop is a good setting to get to know someone :)
Mostly its Girl's House but a Coffee Shop would be nice.. I once had a nice conversation at a Restaurant overlooking the Dubai Creek; it was a nice setting.. Can’t really remember why that one didn’t work out :)
so I'll let you know in 2 years what I think... By then both of you will be married and have kids probably lol
I plan to be single by that time too but certain people have given me just six months :)
"so I'll let you know in 2 years what I think... By then both of you will be married and have kids probably lol"
You're right... I'll possibly be snapped up by then.
Never mind, when you're ready, come over, not only will I take you sight seeing (baby in hand) but I'll also match make! ;)
Unlike some (read my) matchmakers, I'll actually set you up with someone who meets your criteria... he'll love cats! :P
so you'll matchmake for me? lol cool. I was actually thinking of coming to Dubai next summer after or before going to Istanbul for a week InshAllah. I'm dreaming, but hope to make these dreams a reality. But then I thought, forget about dubai, don't want to die in the heat!!! I am already dying here in NY cause we have had a non-stop heatwave, and it's at least 100 degrees everyday. So freaking unbearable!!!
But you can start the matchmaking right now if you'd like :P lool jk!!!
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